I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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