you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
