The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so much tequila, so little girl.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
