Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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