I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
