she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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