Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
