yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
