i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
