drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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