you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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