why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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