You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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