i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
