Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's official drugs can't kill me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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