Don't you send me to vm
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
