If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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