I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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