At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
