:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
In America we eat man semen.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
