No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Never underestimate the power of titties
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
