Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
