oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
