so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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