she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we're making bets on your personal life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
