Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize