She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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