Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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