I'm gonna have a badass scar
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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