the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
