just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
