do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize