tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
