No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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