I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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