i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
