Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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