Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize