Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
