My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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