He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
