why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
