if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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