grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i out mim tonsoeep
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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