Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
