all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
