Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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