what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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