So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
