pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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