he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
