You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
