let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
