I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize