I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
