I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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