Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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