everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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