Please, let me fuck your mom
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
