guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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