i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
