why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
