I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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