Don't you send me to vm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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