Soap is not a condiment
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
